I remember it was raining and I was catching a bus back to the old town where I lived. It was cold, I looked out of the bus, holy rain is dropping lightly from the gloomy sky. The bus was moving so fast and as the bus moving, I could see grounds are all covered up with the wetness. “Covered up”? The word rang in my head. Image of hijab and tudung flashed on my mind. For the two hours journey, I couldn’t sleep even once. My mind was filled up with everything matters. I was born as a Muslim but I didn’t pray enough five times a day like other Muslim. I hardly read the doa’ after pray. People could say I was illiterate in a way but I’m not and it just because at times, it took me a long while to finish even a short verse from the Quran. It was in Arabic and I was never taught Arabic, that was my excuse of not reading. I thought as long as you have a good heart that‘s good enough. And if you don’t commit huge sins, you’ll be fine. But what she said, made my whole perspective looked, vain.
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I was from Kedah and on my way back home to Perak region. My heart wasn’t at ease. What she said had made me thinking, and I was thinking real hard. She was a nice girl. ‘Be a true Muslim, and not just a Muslim by name,’ she said politely with a smile, but the meaning was intense. She was merely quoting and was not saying it to me but my heart was touched. What kind of Muslim, had I been all these while? I don’t want to be a Muslim and only by name. It doesn’t sound good either. As the bus moved, heading to Perak where I lived, I let out few sighs.
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